I am procrastinating this morning and I decided to Google to see if I could find any good images of procrastination. The picture above showed up and it feels like a picture of my life right now.
I am feeling frustrated that I am not doing what I should be doing, inadequate that I am not good enough to do what I should be doing, overwhelmed with stress, worry and anxiety because I am afraid I will never reach the deadline.
I am feeling a little unfulfilled as I long for a career, to be able to use my education as a teacher.
My habits are poor as I tend to set to high expectations for myself, then when I fail I add to my low self esteem and feeling of guilt by self criticizing. It is a vicious cycle.
I lack confidence in myself and instead of asking for the resources that I need, i.e.support and help to watch the kids so I can get it done, I do it all myself.
I have huge fears of failure and conflicts with others and being judged by others as a failure.
I am a perfectionist who tend to over micromanage, over plan it and over work it.
So what now?
What will I do about this deep insight into myself?
Will I procrastinate doing anything about it?
Or will I work on one branch at the time and get it done?
How about you?
Hey I got one thing of my list then… I wrote this post.
Sharing it with the anti-procrastinators at New Nostalgia