Friday, November 5, 2010

Saying NO…


If there is one thing I am not good at, it is saying NO.

It does come easy when it is my kids asking, almost to easy sometimes.

As soon as school started I knew I were in trouble. Mom groups asked me to volunteer, school PTA asked me to volunteer, friends wanted help, family wanted help, my kids needed me, my husband needed me and I had projects I wanted to do on my own too.

After a few weeks I was feeling stressed and anxious. I knew I had to do something about it. I had to learn to say no.

First I said no at church when they asked for more volunteers in the children ministry. It is my space and time during the weekend to have some quality time by myself without the children and it is precious to me.

Then I chose to only do volunteer services that would give me something either socially, creatively, or professionally. With moms groups I am a small group leader and I create a newsletter. At my daughters school I run a volunteer group that meet once a week to help teachers with projects for their classes, this gives me ideas to use myself when I go back to work as a teacher.

I have friends wanting my help with decorating and I have said yes to two just because I think it is fun and I get to do something socially and creative all at once. I also have friends who want me to arrange and host gatherings ever so often and I chose to say no as it was more stressful than enjoyable for me.

I am helping my mother in law clean her house once a week, but she gives back in form of a little pocket money and helping me with the kids. Still I had to say no to her when she wanted to help me by taking my oldest daughter three of the school nights. It just gave me more stress as she would fall behind on her Norwegian studies. Now Isabel gets picked up from school  by grandma two days a week and it is really nice for me.

I am slowly getting my schedule set and everything balanced out. Things are getting done and my stress and anxiety level is slowly going down.

How are you handling the stresses of the daily demands and requests? Are you good at saying no?

1 comment:

Beth said...

I have chosen to say no to childrens ministry for many years now. While I still get a twinge of guilt from time to time, I remind myself I am staying out of the way of all the people that want to be there. I help in other places, as needed. Oh, saying no is such a gift. I come and go with my ability to do so. Having a schedule or calendar visible with pockets of time available helps me keep my agenda in check. If I have a pocket of time open, I am more inclined to say yes. If I see my schedule is at risk for being overloaded, I have a physical barrier that allows me to say no. In fact, I am getting ready to tell my mother no for something she wanted me to do this week.