I'm not a quilter/quitter

First of all, thank you so much to all of you who came over to my blog and took your time to write some encouraging words to me. I truly appreciate all your prayers and I have put my trust in God. Thank you too to Amy for your kind and wonderful words you wrote as you featured me yet again. I can't believe you even read my Gratitude post. That really means a lot to me.

My husband and I are doing better, but I am still struggeling with feeling overwhelmed with everything. I am now trying to take one week at the time and I try to spend some time by my sewing table being creative again as that calms my mind and makes me feel good. And from this good things are coming.

I am done. So incredibly done. A little over two years ago I started on a quilt for Isabel. She had fallen in love with a quilt at Land of Nod, but there were no way I could afford it. Instead I took her to my local fabric store where I picked out several fabrics that reminded me of the quilt she had picked out and I let her choose her favorites. Then I went to work on her quilt.

I chose a pattern from Pat Sloan's I can't believe I'm Quilting beyond the basics The Get to the Point quilt. It was difficult. I should probably have started out with somethings easier, but I thought I knew what I was doing. I have made many smaller quilts and they have always come out nicely, but this time I decided to do a twin size quilt. I don't know what I was thinking.

It has taken me over two years. A lot of procrastination in working on it and it has caused me a lot of procrastination in starting other projects because I never wanted to start something new before this was done. Still there is a lot of things I have learned in this process

1. I am not a quilter.

2. Neither am I a quitter.

3. I am not patient.

4. I don't read instructions very well.

5. Needles for my sewing machine costs a lot of money.

6. I am terrible at assembling the quilt.

7. When you don't assemble a quilt properly it does not look very nice when you then quilt it.

8. I have finally learned to do machine-sewn binding properly.

9. You are actually supposed to zigzag around the quilt to close the raw edges and then trim the backing and batting.

10. Potholders are a fun and easy project to do.

Since I finished the quilt, I have made two sets of potholders. They are so fun and easy to make and I have already given one set to my mother in law. I now have a few more projects on my planner, but first I have to finish up a few smaller projects that just need the finishing touches.

Thank you for coming over to visit.

Linking up to Amy's Anti-procrastionation Tuesday.

Grateful Monday 7

It has been a week of up and downs, but a lot of fun too.

This week I am so grateful for

61. Sofies blood work was finally perfect and she got to take her MMR vaccine.

62. having the best dad in the world, who has reached the ripe age of 66. Happy b-day pappa.

63. doctors being able to communicate with each other and with me, one less visit next week.

64. Isabels great humor and ability to be sarcastic like her mom.

65. cool nights and warm days.

66. a blogger community who really cares.

67. a husband who understand and care about my concerns for our family and wants changes too.

68. kids that love playing together.

69. a daugther that loves her moms creations regardless of all imperfections.

70. my cat feeling better after getting a shot of antibiotics at the vet for his high fever.

Today

I am armed with my trusty handheld vacuum cleaner

7:20 AM - I am armed with my trusty handheld vacuum cleaner in one hand this morning. My house is filled with dust bunnies and crumbs. My other hand is armed with a wet microfiber cloth for all the sticky residue my children leave all over the place.

I am up for a 10 minute challenge. How much can I get done in 10 minutes? Well considering the fact that I do use about 6 times 10 minutes, a lot gets done.

7:30 AM - For my first 10 minutes I will straighten up my dining room, vacuum the chair seats, the floor and clean of all the stickiness. Ready, set, go...
10 minutes gave me time to do all that and empty the new bag of dog food into its container and clean up around the container. Wow, I can feel my pulse going.

7:40 AM - Then up to get the baby and get her ready for her busy day.

7:45 AM - Sofie is downstairs now with me eating her breakfast. Kitchen here we go... Put away clean dishes. Make breakfast for Isabel and get lunches ready to go.

8:00 AM - Kitchen is done. Sofie gave most of her breakfast to the dog. Guess I'll just have to make her some more and close the dog up in another room.

8:45 AM - Both kids are up and dressed. Isabel is eating her breakfast. I am finally starting on those lunches.

8:55 AM - Lunches made and packed up. It is hard to stay on task when you have little ones who constantly need something, but the 10 minutes are keeping me concentrated on my task and I do get it finished.

I will do one last 10 minute cleanup and that is my living room.

9:00 AM - 9:10 AM - My house is yet again my sanctuary and since the kids and I will be out all day today I know it will stay this way till we get home again. I still need to vacuum, wash floors and little things like that, but the sheer fact that everything is all picked up is a soothing thought to me.

Have a wonderful day and get cleaning. Just remember it is all about cleaning the areas that means the most for you and letting go of the rest till another time. Tomorrow is yet another day and my vacuum cleaner and bucket is not going anywhere.

Broken relationship

This is not the typical anti-procrastination entry. This is about me and my relationship to my husband. I need your advice and your encouragement in this. I hope you don't mind.

My relationship with my husband is broken. At least that is what it feels to me.

I have always had a hard time talking about my feelings and talking about our relationship with him. Last night I really did it. I shut off instead of trying to tell him what I feel and why I act the way I do. I know he is hurt and angry, but so am I.

This year I decided to get help for my problems. In January I went to my doctor and she and I decided on a plan of me taking medicine for my pain and me seeing a therapist.

I saw the therapist almost right away and after many sessions the therapist came to the conclusion that she could not help me without my husband there and as she was not a couples therapist she gave me the name on another therapist to help me. I have not been able to see the new therapist due to travel and having a sick child and now also our economy. I have to do this myself now.

The medicine she gave me I have not been able to use since I am still nursing. So I still don't know if that will work or when I will be able to use it.

While in Norway my husband made a list of everything he wants to do every day and I was very excited because it would seriously help me in my day. He did so well for about 3 weeks and then he stopped. He got sick and then he was tired, and then he just didn't feel like doing it because I didn't do the list he made for me.

I do do the list he gave me, just not in his order and on the days he assigned for me to do them. It just doesn't fit with my schedule.

I am sorry if it seems like I am just complaining about my husband now, but there is a point to this that has to do with procrastination.

So in January I stopped procrastinating and went to my doctor and got help. Then I started procrastinating again. I got to stop that.

My plan now is to write him a letter where I again explain what I need and why it is the way it is in my eyes.

I will meet him halfway, by breaking my boundaries, but he need to meet my needs too.

This is where I would like your help. If you would please give me some advice, I really need it.

When it comes to our children: Do I have to ask him to feed them, clean them and take them out once in a while? Or do I have to keep asking him? All I want is for him to see the kid's needs and react upon them.

When it comes to our dog: Can I finally set my foot down and find a new home for her because he is not keeping his promise to walk her every day and instead leaving all the work to me? I feel bad and stressed all the time because I don't have time or energy every day to walk her and then when I ask him to do it, he makes me feel bad because he is so tired. Still he wants to keep the dog for our kids sake, but the dog is not happy with us because she needs lots of exercise and space to roam around which she is not getting with us.

When it comes to me: I would like to have some things private, like this blog, but he keeps looking over my shoulder when he is home to check on what I am writing. It is so personal to me and I just want to keep it for my self. Is that wrong of me?

I have to stop procrastinating on our relationship or I am afraid we won't last to our next anniversary. It is all up to me, but I would love your input and your encouragement.

Thank you so much for listening this far to me. I really appreciate it.

Grateful Monday 6

I am a little uninspired lately, but I will sit down and look into myself and rediscover my blessings of this week.

This week I have been grateful for

51. Vacation Bible School that Isabel actually loved.

52. good friends that help a friend out when she is in an awkward situation.

53. the lab assistant at our doctors office that hits right on when taking blood from Sofie.

54. my mom who bought me a good supply of needles for my sewing machine when she was here

55. Sofie still staying healthy and not having any relapses.

56. Isabel keeping Sofie happy and entertained in the morning while still in bed.

57. a baby who sleeps in till 10 in the morning.

58. my husband working so hard to provide for us.

59. an empty calender slowly filling up.

60. my husband baking chocolate chip cookies just because.

Grateful Monday 5

A few days late, but better late than never :)

I am so grateful for

41. yardworkers who are finally doing what they are supposed to do.

42. vacation bible school at our church.

43. a sandbox that brings a one year old and a six year old together in play.

44. Sofies giggles when I tickle her and blow her belly.

45. Isabel wanting to do chores the last few days, she is really pushing me to get things done.

46. the beutiful weather we have been blessed with lately.

47. Sofie finally being done with all the antibiotics and being healthy again.

48. quiet mornings with my coffee.

49. Sofie not getting hit by the laptop when it fell down from the ledge where it was left with the cords hanging down on the floor.

50. the familyfarm that will start delivering organic produce to us starting tomorrow.