This is not the typical anti-procrastination entry. This is about me and my relationship to my husband. I need your advice and your encouragement in this. I hope you don't mind.
My relationship with my husband is broken. At least that is what it feels to me.
I have always had a hard time talking about my feelings and talking about our relationship with him. Last night I really did it. I shut off instead of trying to tell him what I feel and why I act the way I do. I know he is hurt and angry, but so am I.
This year I decided to get help for my problems. In January I went to my doctor and she and I decided on a plan of me taking medicine for my pain and me seeing a therapist.
I saw the therapist almost right away and after many sessions the therapist came to the conclusion that she could not help me without my husband there and as she was not a couples therapist she gave me the name on another therapist to help me. I have not been able to see the new therapist due to travel and having a sick child and now also our economy. I have to do this myself now.
The medicine she gave me I have not been able to use since I am still nursing. So I still don't know if that will work or when I will be able to use it.
While in Norway my husband made a list of everything he wants to do every day and I was very excited because it would seriously help me in my day. He did so well for about 3 weeks and then he stopped. He got sick and then he was tired, and then he just didn't feel like doing it because I didn't do the list he made for me.
I do do the list he gave me, just not in his order and on the days he assigned for me to do them. It just doesn't fit with my schedule.
I am sorry if it seems like I am just complaining about my husband now, but there is a point to this that has to do with procrastination.
So in January I stopped procrastinating and went to my doctor and got help. Then I started procrastinating again. I got to stop that.
My plan now is to write him a letter where I again explain what I need and why it is the way it is in my eyes.
I will meet him halfway, by breaking my boundaries, but he need to meet my needs too.
This is where I would like your help. If you would please give me some advice, I really need it.
When it comes to our children: Do I have to ask him to feed them, clean them and take them out once in a while? Or do I have to keep asking him? All I want is for him to see the kid's needs and react upon them.
When it comes to our dog: Can I finally set my foot down and find a new home for her because he is not keeping his promise to walk her every day and instead leaving all the work to me? I feel bad and stressed all the time because I don't have time or energy every day to walk her and then when I ask him to do it, he makes me feel bad because he is so tired. Still he wants to keep the dog for our kids sake, but the dog is not happy with us because she needs lots of exercise and space to roam around which she is not getting with us.
When it comes to me: I would like to have some things private, like this blog, but he keeps looking over my shoulder when he is home to check on what I am writing. It is so personal to me and I just want to keep it for my self. Is that wrong of me?
I have to stop procrastinating on our relationship or I am afraid we won't last to our next anniversary. It is all up to me, but I would love your input and your encouragement.
Thank you so much for listening this far to me. I really appreciate it.